Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Some of my American friends had boyfriends


Some of my American friends had boyfriends/ girlfriends and I would always be interested to see them with their partners. But I never actually wanted to have a boyfriend myself because all the drama, expectations and explanations seemed quite a tiring job. I would have partial crushes but I tried my best not to show any signs of interest as it was against my religion and culture.

I would always tell myself that teenage crushes are common and should not be taken seriously. Besides, I would have an arranged marriage as it is the common trend in my family and area. When I would tell my American friends this, they would pity me. Their reactions surprised me, as the prospect of an arranged marriage seemed very interesting to me. I was determined to correct the misconception about arranged marriages as cruel acts. For this reason, I participated in many speeches and discussions.

According to a dictionary, arranged marriage is a marriage arranged by someone other than the persons getting married, curtailing the process of courtship. But it has a little different meaning in my city. An arranged marriage is different from a forced marriage. In it, the consultation of the boy and the girl getting married is an important part of the marriage decision. The usual custom is that the boy’s parents ask for the girl’s hand whom they and their son find suitable. If the girl’s family finds the boy as fulfilling all the important considerations for their daughter, such as having a good livelihood etc, they will then ask for their daughter’s opinion. If she agrees, the decision is made. Yet if she vetoes it, it is time to consider someone else for her. Thus the marriage is not imposed in any way. There may still be some forced marriages in the area and these are the ones that can justifiably be called

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